Friday, July 14, 2017

Bear Cat gets a sister

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

The Boy: The Boy
EM: Ellie Mae


BC: {grooming himself} You're ONCE! TWICE! THREE TIMES a TORTIE! And I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVE ...

{Pause}
{Bear hears the front door open ... then The Boy and Momma talking excitedly though he can't make out the words}
BC: {thinking} Huh. Momma's home. I really want her to pet me ... but she DID leave me with Dumbnuts NOT the Momma. Hmph. I'll count to ten just to show her I really don't care that she's home.
{Pause}
BC: One ... two ... three ... four ... five ... six ...
{Pause}
BC: {thinking} Self-control, Bear! Self-control! I can wait another four seconds ... imagine her fat head if she figures out that I LIKE her! Then again, a big head would work better proportionately given her doughnut enhanced body. Anyway.
{Pause}
BC: RATS!!! Now I lost count! One ... two ... three ... OH HELL! I always tell myself that I'll hold out for the whole count next time and then EAR RUBS!!! FINE!
{Bear comes out from his window ... then pauses as something occurs to him}
BC: Sniff ... SNIFF ... {GASP}. That ... THAT ... SHE WAS PETTING OTHER CATS AGAIN!!! Oh, NO! HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL NO! Nope. Nuh uh. That ... that ... FLOOZY! Momma's mine! MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!!!
{Pause as Bear walks into the room where The Boy and Momma are}
BC: I'll have you know that I won't tolerate you petting other ... {GAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSP}.
{Pause}
BC: I ... YOU ... YOU!!! ... I ... NO! NO! NONONONO! What the ... who the ... ARRRRRRGGG! You brought the trollop home!!! I'm not sharing MY MOMMA! I'm not sharing DUMBNUTS and I don't even like him!!!
MK: Bear ...
BC: Make it go away!
MK: Not IT. HER.
BC: You brought home a GIRL cat?!?! We'll have a GIRL around here?!?!
MK: I'M a girl!!
BC: No, you're not! You're a Momma!
MK: Bear ...
BC: You brought me a GIRL cat and you didn't get a TORTIE?!?! You have no taste in girls, Momma!
MK: Bear, you know no tortie could measure up to Mudpie or Amarula.
BC: HEEEEELLL YEAH! Hubba hubba on BOTH counts!!!
MK: Ellie's not so bad, Bear. She's a black kitty just like Bella. Remember her?
BC: It's CRUEL, Momma! You know I want to be a black cat more than anything and you bring a black cat home to parade around in front of me?!?! MOCKING me?!?!
MK: You want to be a black cat more than you want to be a tasty whole chicken rancher or the boy toy of a tortie?
BC: You've reached Bear Cat. I'm not listening. BEEP!
MK: I love you, Bear. I have more than enough love for you both.
BC: Phht. Let ELLIE have her own human! 
MK: Bear, she doesn't have her own human.
BC: Oh.
MK: That's why I adopted her.
BC: Whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA!!!! SHE'S OURS?!?!?! You ADOPTED her?!?! I thought you were just watching her for a few days!
MK: Come on, Bear. Ellie was born and fostered into a local rescue, All Paws Rescue, in June 2011. She was adopted out soon after - until she was found on the street earlier this year. All the microchip information yielded no help in finding out how she was left to fend for herself outside so she was sent back to the same rescue. She was abandoned and picked up by animal control, Bear. You remember what it's like to try to make it on your own on the street, right?
BC: Next thing you know, you'll bring home abandoned goslings and deer and ... WAIT A MINUTE!!! Are there abandoned tasty whole chickens? We could set up a tasty whole chicken rescue!
MK: How are they rescued if you eat them?
BC: Ummm ... err ... OH! I'm rescuing them from life!
MK: No.
BC: RATS!
{Pause}
BC: So this is how it works?!? Replaced by a new model in my prime?
EM: Phht. Maybe if you didn't bite so much, they wouldn't need me! I'm a NICE cat! I love my people. I love snuggling.
BC: {GASP} {to Momma} Is she talking to me?!?! SURELY, she isn't talking to me, right?
MK: Bear ...
BC: She's a suck up!!! Betraying your own species! You should be ashamed of yourself!
EM: If being a suck up means not biting the hand that feeds me ... I'm a suck up!
BC: I only bite their LEFT hands. They feed me with their RIGHT hands.
EM: No wonder you're in trouble all the time.
BC: What did you tell her?
EM: If you can't love your humans, I will.
BC: Who asked you!?!?!
MK: Bear, I love you just as much as before.
BC: That's some feel good crap! If you're petting her, you're not petting me!
MK: Half the time, you don't let me pet you. About one-fourth of the time, you bite me.
BC: SO!?!?! You're available when I do!
MK: Bear! I love you both equally - that will never change.
BC: {AHEM!}
MK: Uh oh.
BC: When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for a person to love another feline in addition to the handsome boy she already has ... feeling connected to them both and loving them separately but equally as both are entitled by virtue of them being those wonderful creatures known as cats ... a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that she should declare the causes which impel her to the addition. Just saying.
MK: {sigh} Well, you know that we met Ellie three weeks ago at PetSmart's local "All about cats" event. Her rescue was there too; she was in a glass enclosure and when I crouched down to look inside, our eyes met and it seemed to me like there was some kind of recognition. I haven't had an experience like that since I met you eleven years ago. She meowed like crazy and rubbed up against the glass from the inside. I asked an employee if I could pet her just as the rescue walked in. They let The Boy and I play with her and a couple other kitties. But Ellie stole my heart. She melted in my arms and let me love her. Because of how badly you and Kitty got along, I didn't want to adopt her unless I was 100% sure that I needed her in my life.
BC: Phht! You don't NEED her! You have ME! MEMEMEMEME! You tell everyone that I'm more than enough cat for you!
MK: Two weeks passed, and I couldn't forget her. The Boy suggested we go back - and I found out that the rescue would be at the store again that weekend. But Ellie'd been taken back to her foster mom's to make room for all the kittens in the rescue's glass cases as the store. We saw her foster mom, Linda, and she was kind enough to bring Ellie back later in the day so we could spend more time with Ellie. The visit didn't go well. I didn't feel the connection I'd felt the first time. I was ready to give up on her.
BC: You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?!?!
MK: Late this week, I e-mailed her foster mom and explained my hesitation and my disappointment with the last visit. Because she'd forever be mine - and that's an awesome responsibility - I wanted to be sure. Luckily, Linda had to be at PetSmart this weekend to clean the kitties' enclosures and she promised to bring Ellie with her so I could spend a little more time with her just in case. I went alone - thinking I wouldn't adopt her. But the minute Ellie saw me - our connection was stronger than ever. She recognized me! And she let me pet her for as long as I wanted.
BC: We need to set some ground rules. I don't share. MY food bowl. MY cat tree. MY desk chair. MY catnip banana. Speaking of ... where IS my banana?
EM: Ummm ... this one that I'm laying on? 
BC: You did NOT just ... you DID NOT just do that.
EM: Come to Ellie, my precious 'nip 'nanner!
BC: MoooooooooooooooooooooooooommmMMMA! Ellie stole my banana!!! Tell her to keep her paws off my banana.
MK: Bear, you can share! Or find something else to play with.
BC: FINE! At least I have my paper to lay ... 
{Bear stops in his tracks as he finds Ellie laying on his paper now}
BC: Holy crap! That girl gets into everything!!!
EM: You have so much cool stuff, Bear! I think we got off on the wrong paw.

BC: Wrong paw?!? Wrong PAW?!?! Meet my little friends!
MK: BEAR! Put your claws away!
BC: Okay. Meet my other little friends!
MK: BEAR! Don't bite your sister!
BC: I don't have a sister!
MK: You do now.
BC: I HATE YOU! You're taking HER side!
EM: That's because I'm a NICE cat. Momma? Pet me!!!
BC: She's not YOUR Momma! She's MY Momma!
MK: {picking Ellie up} I love you, Ellie Bug.

BC: HWCK ... HWCK ... HEEEEEWARCK!!! I've never been so ... so ... 
{Pause}
BC: She doesn't know she's a cat! What's all this lovey-on-demand business? It makes me look bad!
EM: No. You make YOURSELF look bad by biting everyone!
BC: I've NEVER! You ... she ... I ... ARRRRG!
EM: Not very intelligent or articulate, are you?
BC: That's IT! She's a brown-nosing, doughnut butt-kissing, suck up!!! 
EM: My nose is black! SEE!

{Pause}
BC: We're NOT keeping her!
MK: Bear ...
BC: {to Ellie} If I ignore you, will you go away?
{The Boy walks into the room}
EM: DAAAAAADDDDY!!!
BC: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My heart! My heart! HWCK ... HWCK ... HEEEEEWARCK!!! Oh. False alarm. Just another hairball.
{Pause}
BC: No! Don't be nice to him!! If you're nice to him, he'll NEVER leave! And ...
The Boy: Hi, baby girl!
BC: HEY! You don't call ME "baby girl!!!"
EM: I prefer Daddy's lap. I'm a Daddy's Girl!!!
BC: My "sister" clearly has questionable judgment! Oh, GREAT! Now The Boy will NEVER leave! Wait a ... {To Momma} You're not afraid The Boy will leave?
The Boy: What's he talking about?
MK: BEAR! {sigh} When my ex-husband and I decided to bring Bear inside and give him a forever home, it was on the condition that my ex-husband help me with the cats because I had my hands full with Kitty and her health problems. Not only did he not keep the promise to help, he left me six months later and I felt really overwhelmed with two cats that couldn't get along. And any time I count on someone sticking around, they leave.
The Boy: Oh, honey. I'm not leaving. I promise. And I'll help you ...
BC: YUCK!!! Get a room!!!
EM: I think it's sweet!
BC: Who asked you?
EM: Where's the little girl's room?
BC: The WHAT?!?!
EM: The litter box.
BC: Oh, that. It's over there. Why do you ...
{Ellie walks in the litter box}
BC: Oh, no! NONONONONO!!! That's my litter box! You aren't ... aren't ... awwwwww, RATS!
MK: Bear, there's another litter box in the second bedroom. Two big litter boxes should be perfect for both of you.
{Bear goes over to sniff around the litter box Ellie just stepped out of}
BC: Holy cat crap on a cracker! How can something so stinky come out of such a small girl?
MK: Bear ...
BC: I hate you! MROW!
MK: Bear! Leave her alone!
{Pause}
MK: BEAR! Stop stalking her! Stop ...
EM: {running toward Bear who was crouched down stalking Ellie} Yippee-ki-yay!
BC: Huh?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! She's after me! She's after me! I'm going to die! I'm going to die!!! HHHHIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS!
MK: Mr. Tough Pants strikes again!
{Bear and Ellie streak through the family room again with Ellie hot on Bear's tail}
BC: Make her stop! Make her stop!!!
MK: Ellie! Come snuggle with Momma.
BC: Not AGAIN! I need support! I need snuggles! I ALMOST died! She was trying to kill me! I'm no longer wanted in my own home.
EM: But you said we were playing ...
BC: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUUUUUT UP!
EM: Huh?
BC: Psst. Come here!
{Ellie walks close to Bear}
BC: {whispering} We have to pretend to hate each other and not get along.
EM: Why??!
BC: {whispering} Watch ... and learn.
{Pause}
BC: Momma! I've been replaced! You don't love me anymore! And she was mean to me! 
MK: Oh, Bear. I love you. Treats?!?!
BC: Well, I don't think that really solves any ...
MK: Okay. Never mind.
BC: But solutions are overrated. FEED ME!
MK: {putting down treats for both cats} Here. I hope this makes everything just a bit easier for you both.
EM: WHOOOOOOOOOOA.
{Pause}
EM: I HATE YOU! 
MK: More treats?!?! I'll give you whatever you want if you two just stop fighting!
{Pause}
MK: Wait a ... 
EM: It was Bear's idea!
BC: HEY!!!!
EM: Momma? Can we snuggle?!?!
BC: Oh, for the love! Do you ever QUIT snuggling?
EM: I'm the shark!!!
BC: I shared that with you in ... RATS! BYE!!!!
{Bear runs as fast as he can, with Ellie right on his tail}
The Boy: If only I believed in karma ...

Featured posts of the day:


Final note ... in our visits with the cats of All Paws Rescue, we also fell in love with Allie, a kitty who had problems adjusting when her people got a new puppy. She's older (eleven), declawed in the front, and she'd probably prefer to be an only kitty or share a home with an older friendly kitty (this is why we couldn't adopt her ... Bear has a history). We'd love if you could help us get her adopted!!! She's VERY loving and affectionate - and looking for someone to cherish her for the rest of her life. Please, please get the word out about this beautiful girl!
Link to her profile: Allie.
Link to All Paws' Facebook post about her (for those of you willing to share on your Facebook pages): All Paws Rescue - Allie.
Link to: All Paws Rescue.

48 comments:

  1. Life is better with two cats! Bear, I bet you're going to love having a sister...just don't tell your Momma. :)

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    Replies
    1. Nope. I might enjoy having someone to play with ... but I have to pretend to hate it. ~Bear Cat

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  2. We promise you will like having a sister. You can play and get into all sorts of trouble, er, fun! Signed, Ringo.

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  3. What a wild ride this will be. Ellie is precious. Mom's first ever heart cat was Thelma (all black). She only lived to 12, which made our mom very sad. We hated reading about what happened to Allie. Why does a new dog always win out over the cat. We hear that story over and over again. Pfffft! Ellie, you certainly do seem to be a snuggler, and maybe you can turn Bear into a sweeter, gentler cat. Oh, who are we kidding? Please thank your mom for her sweet words about Fiona. Mom misses her so much. She sees her little expectant face in her mind's eye all the time. Good luck Bear. Give Ellie a chance! XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo and Cooper Murphy

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    Replies
    1. Just thinking about what happened to Allie makes me mad. And Ellie was abandoned on the street. What's wrong with people?!?!

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  4. oh Miss Ellie....welcome and we know you will fit in just fine

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! It's nice here ... MOSTLY. ~Ellie Mae

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  5. Bear, we think you and Ellie Mae could make a purrfect team. Do you know how much you two could get away with, if you work together? We hope you two have lots of fun together!

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  6. Ah, Bear, the joys of a brand new fursib. We gotta meow, she's a beauty! And just think of all the ways you could teach Ellie Mae to HELP you make your hooomins' lives more... Interesting.

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    Replies
    1. INTERESTING. I like that term A LOT. ~Bear Cat

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  7. Take it from me Bear, sisters are pretty easy to get along with, well, so is a brother but I have more experience with sisters. You will adjust in no time Bear!

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    1. I bet Simon is a bunch of paw-fulls :) ~Bear Cat

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  8. The shelter should track down the people who adopted her and arrest them for animal abandonment. I am glad Ellie has a forever home now and I know Bear Cat will warm up to her-eventually.

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    Replies
    1. We agree. I don't know what kind of person would let her go. It makes me mad to even think about it!

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  9. Bear, I'm afraid to say that you may have met your match in Ellie. I think in time you'll be friends with her, at least I hope so. I know the adjustment can be rough. You're both precious. I'll get the lady to share Allie on FB.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! We're working on the rest ;) ~Bear Cat

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  10. Now this does make responding more difficult, being the two of you. Bottom line is you are both felines of the utmost, and as such need to have a balance between you and the humans you protect. Yup, if nobody's told you then I need to say your mission, should you choose it, is to help your humans. Of course if you want to have some fun along the way....
    Purrs. ERin TCP Princess of Mouses
    PS why do nip nannas only come in ones?

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    Replies
    1. They should come in bunches!!!! "Help" is relative ;)

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  11. Yea! Welcome, Ellie. We love black cats! 🐱 Bear, be nice. Sisters can be very accomodating. Ask George. He loves his. ❤

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  12. We sure welcome you Ellie. We bet that you and Bear become great friends eventually. At least you aren't fighting. Give that poor Ellie a chance Bear, she needs a home. You all take care.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. We don't fight USUALLY ... but sometimes a girl's just got to put her paw down! ~Ellie Mae

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  13. You will get used to her, Bear. it will be fun to have someone to snuggle with on cold winter nights. Think of all those games of THoE you can have.

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    Replies
    1. She keeps POUNCING on me!!! I understand Flynn's annoyance when Eric pounced on him all the time! ~Bear Cat

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  14. Hi Ellie! Welcome to your forever home and family! Oh Bear, it will all work out. Lexy and I didn't get along AT ALL in the beginning. Mommy's boyfriend even had to come catsit us when she was in school. And look at us now!

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    Replies
    1. We're working on it. As long as she leaves my catnip banana alone, we should be fine. ~Bear Cat

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  15. Oh Bear...your world just got turned upside down. We can tell you from experience....don't trust those girlcats! ~Wally & Ernie

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  16. Bear, I feel for you. TW tried bringing another cat home one time and I made her send the interloper right back or I'd kill her. Oh, I also wouldn't mind being a black cat but I think like I'm black. I'm the Beyonce of cats.

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    Replies
    1. I need to take your class on getting rid of interlopers. The best I've managed is extra treats and some extra play time to placate me. ~Bear Cat

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  17. I'm so happy to read the whole story of how Ellie Mae came to be! I have a feeling you're going to be BFFs in no time. And Bear, never give up your dream of being the boy toy of a tortie ;)

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    1. One day I'll meet Mudpie in catson ... until then, I'll dream of her :) ~Bear Cat

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  18. We bet you two will figure it all out, Bear Cat. We are happy that Ellie Mae has joined your family. Don't you worry, there's enough love for everyone. We just know it!

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    1. The best part?!?!? I've gotten TONS of treats and play time to "make me feel better." SCORE!!! ~Bear Cat

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  19. Bwahaha. So the expression is "karma is a...cat?!" That's just rich. Welcome greetings to the new sister. Wishing you all many happy days.

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  20. Bear, my Mama LOVED the story of how Ellie was adopted. I was adopted from a Petco instead of a Petsmart. My Mom saw me two weeks before she adopted me too.........I think you will love Ellie Mae soon enough! At least she is a GIRL and............thank COD she isn't a WOOFIE!!! Love Cody catchatwithcarenandcody

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    1. It's going to take some adjustment ... but you're right ... at least she's not a dog! ~Bear Cat

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  21. Dood. Oh doooooood. a GURL. With COOTIES. "Little girls room" really? Pffft! ~Faraday

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    1. I'll send her to you and you can teach her the ways of us male cats! Though I AM concerned she and Allie might form a powerful alliance ... ~Bear Cat

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  22. We enjoyed reading your adoption story Ellie ! You're going to love your sister after some time for a few adjustments, Bear ! Purrs

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    1. I know he will! Who could resist?!?! ~Ellie Mae

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  23. This is such a great story...we love how it worked out for Ellie to come into your lives....yes, even your life, Bear Cat! While we are catching up on reading now, we hope to see that things are getting better every day!

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  24. How fun for you to have a sister, Bear! Ellie is so cute and obviously very snuggly! Olive says she understands your pain, though. She wasn't too happy when her sister Sophie just showed up and ruined everything. Everything! Hang in there and don't let her chase you too much.

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    1. It's hard to believe Sophie could ruin anything ... but I see your point! ~Bear Cat

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